A web agency weblog

Last weekend I rented two movies: Last Samurai and Cold Mountain, I would like to share my comments about them. Let’s start with Last Samurai.

We all know what to expect from a Tom Cruise’s movie, lots of shots of his face, this time he is bearded and with long hair, great for the ladies in the audience. Last samurai is full of cliches: Cruise is an alcoholic soldier who fought at the civil war and has a not so decent job helping to sell Winchester guns, he is hired to train japanese soldiers fighting a group of rebel samurais and transform himself in a good man.

Cruise is captured by the samurais in the battle, amazing point number one: Why they did not kill him at the battle field?, oh yeah, my girl said: “The samurai chief has realized that Cruise has some special in him, he fights as a tiger", of course! that’s what the director wanted us to think!, they even shot a tiger flag in slow motion!.

Cruise is taken to the samurai’s village and kept there as a “prisioner", what a great prison!, he had a pretty japanese girl taking care of him, feeding him and even curing his alcoholism!.

Fortunately the samurai chief, I mean the “last” one, speaks english and wants to be Cruise’s friend. Our hero starts to train with the samurais and needs only one year to learn japanese and be able to kill four bad guys armed with swords, being himself unarmed. Aparently Mr. Cruise felt so excited about that scene that asked the director to repeat it in slow motion.

In the final battle we are informed that there are like 500 samurais ready to fight, the bad guys have canons and machine guys so the sword mastering won’t be enought to win this time, all the samurais die but, oh surprise, there is one survivor: Cruise.

In one of the final scenes a puppet young emperor receives Cruise advice and does not sign a treaty with the yankees, great!, we had to kill 500 samurais for that, why don’t you speak at the beginning of the movie guys?

At last Cruise returns to the samurai village to (we hope) live a long and happy live with the japanese girl and her two childred. Oh, did I mention he also killed the girl’s husband?, apparently that was not too important.

Well, I saw the film knowing what to expect, at least I wanted the fights to look real, eveything was Cruise in slow motion, Cruise here, Cruise there, well you get the idea.

My last word: Don’t see this movie, Harry Potter is much more fun.

I only hope Troy won’t be like this.